How to Save a Life
by PiperHalliwell23
Summary: Sirius Black lost his friends, his life, and the only woman he'd eve truly loved to Voldemort. He'd wanted to die on his own terms, not at the hand of his cousin. What happened after Sirius fell through the veil? He's taken on a trip down memory lane and is given a choice. He'll find that his answer is not as simple as he would've thought.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: anything you don't recognize is mine.

"AVADA KADAVRA!"

someone screamed from inside the Department of Mysteries. I'm about to send a spell at my darling cousin, but it appears that she beat me to it.I'm struck and look up at her in surprise. I go to take a breath, but I soon realize that I can't .I try again.I can't breathe. Panic starts to set in as I trip and stumble backwards.I look over at Harry, fear evident in his green eyes. Lily's eyes.I try to say something to him as he cries out for me. I fall back into the veil.

"I'm sorry I failed you!"I cry to my godson, but I'm too late. There was so much I wanted to say to Harry. Now I'll never get the chance.I fall into a bright light. As I land, I find myself in a beautiful field filled with flowers and in the middle sits a lone oak tree. Underneath that tree sits a woman.

If I still needed to breathe, my breath would've caught. Sitting under the tree was a woman with long chestnut curls, full, long eyelashes that lay gently on her flawless, pale skin. She looks exactly same as the day I found her dead in our home October 31,1981.

She opens her emerald green eyes and they pierce me. I take a step closer. She stands and walks over to me, smiling sadly. "I hoped this day would not come for a long while more." She murmured.

"Briar? But you're…..you're" I can't bring myself to say it. She only nods.

"Dead. Yes, I am. And darling, it breaks me to say it but so are you."I nod.

"I gathered. My cousin was always a bitch. She was always jealous of me. Damn my good looks." I say, feeling the need to make her smile. She does.

"There's the Sirius that I fell in love with." She says. I gather her in my arms and kiss her lightly. Something that I could only dream about for so long.

"What's going to happen now?" I ask her, suddenly aware of where we are.

"You will choose a path, something that I can't help you with." She says to me.

"Well, what are the choices?" I ask her. She motions for me to follow her. We sit down together and lean against the massive tree.

"You weren't meant to die today Sirius. So you've been given another chance. You can either move on, or you can go back to Harry. Before you decide though, they want you to take some time. Do you remember when we met?"

She asks me quietly, changing the subject as she lays her head of my shoulder. Wow. That's a lot to take in. I don't have time to sit around and talk. Harry needs me. He's in the middle of the fight for his life, again. I look down at Briar and decide I might have a couple of minutes to spare.

"Yes, you fell in love with me the moment you laid eyes on me."I say with a cheeky smile.

She turns her head to look up at me.

"You and I remember Hogwarts very differently. If I recall correctly, I believe I hated you from the moment I laid eyes on you."

She says with a laugh. I try not to pout, which only makes her laugh more.

"Why did you hate me so much?" I ask her curiously. She sighs.

"Well, when I met you, you were arrogant, conceited, cocky, self righteous, over confident, handsome and you knew it." She said.

"Don't hold back sweetheart." I say to her. We both start to laugh again.

"I've missed this." I say to her, leaning my head against the top of her's.

"I've missed you so much Sirius, but at least I always had a way of going back to visit."

She says, standing up and offering me her small hand.

"Briar, you know I love you more than anything, but Harry needs me. I really don't need to think about this. I have to go back." Briar looks at me with a sad smile.

"I know that's what you want and you know I'd give anything to help you but I'm not in charge here. I'm only here to keep you company while you take some time to siriusly think about this." She looks up at me with a smile and I realize what she'd said.

"Haha, very funny. Alright fine… where are we going?" She says nothing but offers me her hand again. I take it and we walk farther into the field. She brings me to the edge of a forest.

"What are we doing here?" I ask her. She just smiles and closes her eyes. Something pops into existence at the edge of the trees.

"Is that...?"I ask her.

"A pensive, yes. "They" gave one to me until it was my time to move on." She said, pulling me towards it. Briar touches the bowl and an image appears, floating in the water. I stop.

"Wait. Who are "They"." I ask her. She looks up.

"You know... "Them"." She says. I nod. I get it. The fact that I was taking this so well scared me.

"So, are you ready?" She asks me. I look at her with immense confusion.

"For what darling?" I ask her. Briar smiles brightly.

"We're going back to the day we met."

Before I can protest Briar drags us into the pensive and we fall together, back to Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2

Briar's POV

September 1st, 1971

Deep breath Briar, you can do this. Just relax. I close my eyes, trying desperately not to pass out from fright. It's not everyday that you're supposed to run at a brick wall. Even coming from a pureblood family hadn't prepared me for this. It's just not logical, I think to myself as I stare down the brick pillar between platforms nine and ten. My mother and father finally catch up with me, walking calmly over to where I stood shaking.

"You ready to go pumpkin?" My father asks me, looking down at me with his confident brown eyes. I take a deep breath and nod solemnly. He ruffles my hair and gives me a grin.

"That's my girl." My father, Andrew Mitchell is the head of the Auror department and is one of the bravest people I know. The only unfortunate part is that he expects the same from me. He looks left and right and when he decides that the coast is clear, he walks calmly at the pillar, disappearing from sight. My mother, Emily Mitchell, is also an Auror, but doesn't have the responsibility that my father has. She' s pretty much the opposite of my father. He expects me to be brave and strong all the time, and my mother just wants me to take it one step at a time. I think that's why they're so perfect for each other. Opposites attract is what I've heard. My mother looks down at me with her kind green eyes similar to my own.

"Are you sure you're ready?" She asks me, worrying as only a mother knows how. I nod again, afraid that my voice would give away how truly scared I am. She looks like she wants to argue with me, but keeps quiet and walks through the wall, leaving me to calm myself. I realize that I'm not just scared of ramming myself into a wall but that I'm scared of going to school away from home, to leave the safety of my home and go off on adventures. Would I make any friends? Would I have the brains to make it through school? What would my family say if I wasn't in Gryffindor? These thoughts were flying around my head and I was about to give up when...

"Lily darling, are you sure you're supposed to, well, run at it? It looks so...solid."

I turned to see a family of four coming towards me. The parents look kind and more frightened than I felt. Muggles, I thought as they walked up to me. There was only one child with a trunk and a kitten sleeping lazily on the top. I looked closely and saw the Hogwarts crest. They saw me with my owl and her parents sighed in relief. Her mother looked at my trunk and said,

"Are you going to um... well.." I knew she was afraid that if I wasn't going to Hogwarts then she would look like an idiot.

"Hogwarts? Yes ma'am." I say to her. She sighs in relief.

"So, is it true that you have to run at the pillar to get through?" She asks me cautiously, as if not to sound stupid. I nod.

"You can walk or run, it won't matter as long as it's before eleven." I say to them.

"These are my daughters Lily and Petunia." She says, introducing the two girls. One was taller and had a pointy nose that she looked down on me with and mean blue eyes. The other, the one going to Hogwarts, had beautiful red hair and green eyes like mine. The girl introduced as Lily, looked down shyly and said,

"It's nice to meet you." We stuck our hands out at the same time to shake and we burst into a fit of giggles. I think the nerves finally got to us.

Petunia rolled her eyes.

"I'm Briar Mitchell." I say through our laughter. I felt the sheer panic that had taken a permanent residence in me disappear almost completely. When we had finished giggling, Lily looked over at the pillar.

"Do you want to go first or shall I?"

She asks me, fear showing in her eyes. She leans in and whispers, "I'm kind of scared." I nod.

"Me too, but we can do this together. I'll go first and then you can go right after me." I whisper. I see relief flood her eyes.

"Thank you." She says. I take a deep breath and smile, trying to show her that I'm not that afraid. Inside though, I'm terrified. I turn to face the pillar and take a run straight at it. I have to admit as I neared the pillar, I had my doubts, even after seeing my parents vanish through. Just as I'm about to it, I close my eyes and... I open them to find a big red train with a sign hanging over it that read, "Platform 9/34." I move quickly, just in time to see Lily run right where I was just standing. Wonder filled her eyes. She looked around for me and came running up.

"Briar this is amazing!" She squeals.

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" I say, feeling proud that I had made it through. I see Lily's family come through. I drag her over to my parents.

"Mum, Dad, this is Lily." I introduce her. She sticks her hand out and they shake it, Lily's confidence returning.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell." Lily's parents are introduced to mine and they start asking my parents questions about magic. My father and mother were more than happy to answer their questions. We might be pureblood but my parents love Muggles.

The whistle blows and our parents turn to say goodbye.

My father kneels down and hugs me.

"Bye pumpkin, have fun for us both. You're going to love it I promise. I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I whisper. My mother hugs me tight.

"Do you have everything you need?" She asks, fixing my hair.

"Yes mum, I love you." I say as I take my things and slowly make my way to the train. I turn around to see my mother crying and my father hugging her.

I wait for Lily to catch up. We are about to get on the train when Lily stops.

"Wait, where's Sev?" She asks me. I give her a look that begs her to explain.

"He's a friend of mine and I told him I would find him on the train!" She says, looking frantic.

"Lily, if you told him you would meet him on the train then you have to board first." I tell her rationally. She nods and gets on seems to be full. We find a compartment filled with four boys that still has some room left. I look at Lily.

"Should we go in?" I ask her quietly.

She looks around, hoping to find somewhere else to sit. She nods in defeat. I go to open the door when we hear someone call Lily's name.

"LILY, LILY WAIT FOR ME!" We look down the hall to find a skinny boy with greasy black hair and dark obsidian eyes flying down to us. Lily breaks into a grin.

"SEV!" she calls out and she hugs him when he makes it to us. "Sev" looks at me with suspicion in his dark eyes.

"Who is this?" He asks warily.

"This is Briar Mitchell, she helped me get through to the platform." She tells him. I stick my hand out to shake his.

"Briar, and I'm going to guess you're Sev." I say, shaking his wary hand.

"Severus Snape."

He says. I nod.

"So where are we going to sit?" He asks Lily. She points at the compartment. I can hear a small groan come from Severus as he looks in through the glass door. I open it and the boys look up from what they were doing.

"Well hello beautiful, what can we do for you?" asks the boy to my right. He has shaggy black hair that hangs in his dark grey eyes. Lily rolls her eyes and steps forward after I fail to give the boy an answer.

I'm shocked to find that this boy is so obnoxious. I've decided against talking to him. I hated this already, although he seemed to find it amusing.

"We need a place to sit. Is it alright if we sit with you?" She asks another boy with messy black hair but this one had hazel eyes magnified by round glasses. He gapes at her.

"Anything for you sweetheart. What's your name?" he asks Lily, moving over for her to sit next to him, but she moves over to sit with a gangly boy with sandy brown hair and blue grey eyes. He looks up from the book he's reading to give her a small smile and then continues reading. Severus and I move to sit at the end of the compartment. They start talking about houses and the begin ragging on one house in particular.

"My whole family has been in Gryffindor since the school started. I think I would go home if I was put in Slytherin, wouldn't you?"

The boy with glasses asks the other black haired boy.

"My whole family's been in Slytherin." He says. The boy with glasses said,

"Oh, sorry man, I didn't mean any disrespect." the way he said it though disagreed. The other boy said,

"That's okay, today that's all going to change. I don't want to be in Slytherin and I won't be. I'd rather be in Hufflepuff."

He says, crossing his arms defiantly. Lily looks over at me and whispers,

"What's Hufflepuff?" I lean in and say,

"These are all houses that you could be sorted into." The boys look over at us.

"Either you read a lot, or you have a magical parent. Which is it?" Asks the shaggy haired boy.

I turn to them. I look him in the eye and say,

"My name is Briar Mitchell." the two boys look at each other and back at me. You see, the Mitchell's, much like the Black's and Potter's, are some of the oldest pureblood families in wizard history.

"Sirius Black, pleasure." the shaggy haired boy says, holding out his hand. I give him mine gingerly to shake, but he takes it and kisses it instead. I do my best not to roll my eyes.

"James Potter, and that's Remus Lupin with the book, and Peter Pettigrew with the sweets." said James, shaking my hand.

"This is Lily Evans and Severus Snape" I say pointing to my new friends. They say their hello's quietly.

"So Mitchell, what would happen if you were put into Slytherin?" asks Sirius, leaning back against the seat and crosses his arms. "Well, my parents would survive, but my extended family might be a bit upset. I'd probably get disowned." I tell them. The Mitchell's are known for being a Gryffindor family.

No one had ever not been in Gryffindor in my family. I would be a disgrace. Severus scowls at us.

"I want to be in Slytherin." He says. All heads turn to look at him.

"Why would you want to be in Slytherin, Snivellus ?" asks James with a sneer. Severus looks away, a blush forming on his pale cheeks. "That was very rude!" Lily pipes up.

"Are you okay?" I whisper to Severus. He nods, but won't look at me.

"It's true though. There are no good witches and wizards that were in Slytherin." Sirius points out.

"I'm sorry about them Severus. Where you want to be sorted is your own choice. We don't care." I say to him.

"Thanks." He says quietly. We finally find a compartment to sit in. I can't believe that they could be so rude. We sit in silence for the rest of the trip. We eventually change into our robes. I can see the station from my window. Excitement and fright mix inside me. I can't wait to find out what my year has in store.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Sorting Hat

Severus didn't look at Lily or I the rest of the trip. I can see hurt in his dark eyes, but I don't know how to comfort him. We finally arrive at Hogsmeade Station just after nightfall. We hurry off the train are met by the biggest man I've ever seen in my life. He had to have been eight feet tall, with a big bushy beard and warm brown eyes. Severus and Lily take a big step back and look at each other nervously. I'm not scared though, my mother and father told me about Hagrid. I look up at the half giant and smile shyly. "Hi, you must be Hagrid." I say quietly. A grin appears on Hagrid's face.

"I am and what's yer name?" He asks me, full of enthusiasm. "Briar Mitchell." I say, turning in time to see those boys from the train get off, huddling together and whispering excitedly.

"Nice to meet ya Briar." Hagrid says with a smile and then turns to the rest of the first years. "FIRS' YEARS FOLLOW ME!" he calls out loudly. He starts walking away, holding a lantern up high enough for us to see in the dark. We follow Hagrid to a dock. I look nervously at the water. I have a fear of water and have since I almost drowned when I was six. So getting into a boat isn't that appealing to me. I take a deep breath and get into the front of the boat. That's what my father would expect of me. Severus, Lily, Remus, and a girl with a black pixie cut follow behind me. Remus leans over to us and says,

"I'm sorry for their behavior on the train, I didn't know they'd do that. I don't really know them at all to be completely honest." I smile. Remus seems to be a nice guy. It's not his fault he sat with the wrong boys on the train.

"That's okay, but it's not you who has the apologizing to do. It's them." I say. Severus still won't look at us. The boats start rowing themselves and I started praying quietly. After my accident I never went in water that I couldn't stand in.

"Are you okay?" the girl with the short hair whispers to me. I nod.

"I'm okay thanks. I'm Briar."

"Alice, it's nice to meet you."

"Seems to me, that you don't like water." Alice comments quietly. I could only nod. Fear starts gripping my stomach as a dark shadow swims past our boat. The last thing I want to do is tell people that I'm scared of a little water. Something feels different with this girl though. I feel like I can trust her.

"I can't swim and I'm terrified of water." I whisper to her. Severus looks back at me and I know he's heard me.

"We won't let you fall Briar." Severus says quietly. "No need for panic." He whispers. I look at him and give him a small smile. He returns it. Maybe he's not as cold as I originally thought. We all unload from the rickety old boats and onto solid land. We all followed Hagrid silently through the gigantic halls of the castle. I can't believe I'm finally here. I don't think any one of us could've spoken even if we'd wanted to. We all were in too much awe. We stop at the top of some stairs and a very strict lady with an extremely tight bun and emerald green robes stepped out to meet us.

"Thank you Hagrid." She said to the half giant. He nods and walks into the noisy hall. She turns to us and lays down all the basic ground rules. No breaking school rules or it will result in losing house points. I look over at the group from the train and saw them snickering in the corner. God help whichever house gets those idiots.

She leads us into the Great Hall. I look up at the ceiling to see the infamous rooftops. It was a dark, clear September night and the stars were shining. We made it to the front of the hall and we all stood huddling in a tight group facing the teachers.

The woman, who introduced to herself as Professor McGonagall, started calling names. Severus, Lily and I were huddled together in the middle of first year crowd. Finally McGonagall called out the first familiar name.

" Black, Sirius." Sirius struts up to the chair and took the hat confidently. A hush fell over the crowd. The Slytherins were looking happy. I guess they felt that they were about to get a new member. None of the other houses were seeming to take any interest with the boy. They all knew that they weren't getting him.

The hat looked up at the crowd after two minutes very long minutes and yelled,

"GRYFFINDOR!" There was a mixture of anger, disbelief and laughter from the rest of the hall, and shock coming from the Gryffindor's. Sirius couldn't seem to hold back a smile as he walks up to his new house. I saw him smirk at his cousins and sit down next a girl a couple of years older than us with ginger hair. I hears Severus mutter something under his breath that I couldn't understand. McGonagall continues down the list until she calls out,

"Evans, Lily." I give my new friend one last reassuring smile as she meekly makes her way over to the stool and takes the hat. It only took the hat for a moment before he yells out.

"GRYFFINDOR!" I hears Severus groan as Lily hops off the stool and prances over to her cheering table. She makes it clear that she sit on the other side of the table from Sirius, much to his disappointment. Soon after Remus gets called and is also sorted into Gryffindor as is Alice McKinnon. Finally McGonagall calls out,

"Mitchell, Briar." I smile once more at Severus and walk slowly to the stool. I sit down and take the hat meekly in my hands. I put it on my head and it covers my eyes.

"Ahhh, let me see now. Miss Mitchell, you are kind soul I see which would give you a nice safe place in Hufflepuff…. But that's not what you want deep down now is it? You want adventure even with fear that comes with it. You thrive off the fear. Very ambitious you are, Slytherin would fit you well." The Hat mused. "Well, you are the perfect fit for Gryffindor, but I'm giving you the option to choose." The hat tells me.

"What? I thought you were supposed to choose!" I think in shock. "When I can't decide I give you the option to influence where you're put." The hat said. I think it over.

"I think I'll take family might disown me but they'll get over eventually if they love me. With Lily in Gryffindor there will be no one to look after Severus. I think he could use a friend." I think to the hat.

"Hmmmm, well that's interesting. Are you sure?"

It asks me.

"Yes." I think.

"Well then..." It says in my head.

"Better be..." The hat says out loud.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat yells.

"What?" I say, turning the hat to face me.

"What was all that about?" I whisper.

"It takes a lot of to go against your family for your friend. That's all I wanted to see ." It says. I walk over to the cheering table and sit down next to Alice and Lily. James is then immediately sorted into Gryffindor. Peter took five minutes, only to also be sorted into Gryffindor. Finally Severus is called and sits down on the stool. It took all of five seconds for the hat to call out.

"SLYTHERIN!" I catch his eye and he looks away glumly as he sits next to Bellatrix LeStrange. Dinner starts after a few words from Dumbledore. Everything's amazing of course, but I can't help but think about Severus being all alone. If the hat could've only listened to me, I would've been able to protect him from those in his house that wish to turn him into something awful. I can't look at any of my housemates, considering the view they have on Slytherin, I don't think the welcome would be warm if they knew they were my second choice. I get up with everyone else and follow the prefects to the Gryffindor common rooms. I catch Sirius's eye as he goes up the stairs to his dorm. He smiles and winks. I'm caught completely off guard and I run through Nearly Headless Nick. I shiver through the feeling and look up long enough to hear the chuckle of Sirius Black as I'm left alone by the fire.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Marauders

These first few days school are a bit terrifying for everyone. All the first years are walking in packs. Even Sirius and his friends look somewhat nervous, walking close to the walls, but they seem to be the most comfortable in the new environment. Figures. All the first year Gryffindors have the same classes so that means I have both Lily and Alice. The only problem is that James and his friends are with us too. I begin to realize like everyone else, that those boys together are a horrible mix. They're nothing but trouble. They've done more pranks on the first day than the school has seen in the past hundred years. All of the girls, even the older ones, are falling head over heels for them already. Someone told me that the first night, after I'd run through the ghost, the boys had snuck out and had gone exploring through the castle, something we all learned was against school rules.

After the first few months, I'm walking through the halls and I hear McGonagall through her office door, yelling at James and his friends no doubt.

"Delinquents, Troublemakers... Marauders!" She bellows. I can hear snickering from inside the room which was covered by a cough. She must've run out of words to use. Huh. Marauders. I like it. I continue down the hall and stop when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn to find the boys following me.

"Can I help you?" I ask them.

"Did you hear McGonagall?" asks Sirius with a devious smile.

"Yes, it seems like you guys were in trouble...again. Shocker." I say, turning on my heel and continuing down the hall. They catch up to me, keeping their pace with mine.

"She sure was angry, probably the worst yet!" laughs James, who turns and high five Sirius.

"May I ask what you did this time?" I question them, rounding a corner.

"Yes, you may." James says. I stick my tongue out at him.

"We blew up the toilets on the third floor loo." Remus says, somewhat shamefully.

"Why?" I ask them, trying to keep a straight face. That's pretty cool. "We were looking for something." Peter says shyly.

"You really are Marauders aren't you." I say. We make it into the common room to find it empty.

"Marauders... isn't that what McGonagall called us?" Remus asks me, sitting next to Peter on one of the couches by the fire.

"Uh-huh. I think that's what I'm calling you guys from now on. The Marauders." I say, looking at them.

"Ohh no. That's not cool Briar. Besides, it won't stick anyways." Sirius says sitting himself next to me on the other couch.

"You guys need a name anyways. We had nothing to call you." I tell them. Remus laughs. "Why on earth would we need a name?"

"Well, don't all great pranksters have names?" I ask them. They sit there for a moment and then Sirius looks at James.

"Alright lads, Marauders it is." James announces suddenly. Sirius pouts and crosses his arms.

"What's wrong Sirius?" I ask him. He glares.

"I don't like the name Marauders... it makes us sound troublesome." I laugh. The boys look at me.

"Well, it's true. You boys are trouble. Anyone smart enough will to stay away from you." I say. Sirius slides over to sit close to me. He inches his face close to my and whispers, " Then why are you still here?" I can feel my heart start to beat fast, which I take as my cue to leave. I stand quickly, making Sirius fall on his face into the red couch cushion. The boys laugh at him.

"Well, I must be off boys, pleasure talking to you. Goodnight." I slip away and up the stairs, leaving the boys laughter behind me.


	5. Chapter 5

Present

I pull my head out of the pensive at the same time Briar does. "This is from your point of view. I feel like I'm spying." I tell her. She laughs at me. "You were there. Now you just get to see what Hogwarts was like for me." She says.

"So is that it?" I ask her.

"Only if you want it to be. We can continue if you like." She says, looking into the distance.

"Can we skip the next couple years love? That's when things start to get interesting." I say.

"How does fifth year sound?" She asks, taking my hand. I grin at her, happy to feel her presence again.

"That sounds brilliant".


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5: Year 5

After two long months of waiting, September the first has finally arrived.

I make my way to the station with time to spare so I wander around, looking at all the muggles going about their day-to-day business, unaware of the world I am about to enter.

"Long time no see." I spin around find James dragging his trunk behind, trying to catch up.

"James!" I say running toward my friend. We haven't seen each other all summer, but we'd sent many letters using his owl, Harold. James and I have grown closer since our first year at Hogwarts. In fact, I've closer with all of Marauders during our time spent at school.

I hug James and we make our way over to the brick pillar between platforms nine and ten. I look over at the clock hanging above platform eight to see that it was almost 11 o'clock.

"Where's Sirius?" I ask, trying to sound casual as we make sure we have all of our belongings before we run through the pillar. James smirks and looks over at me.

"Well, well, well, what's going on here?"

"What do you mean?" I ask looking away, blushing slightly.

"Oh come on Briar, everyone knows that Sirius fancies you. And I'm starting to think you feel the same way." James says. I roll my eyes and my friend. Sirius and I are known for disliking each other. After about third year though, I became friends with the boys with Sirius being more of an acquaintance.

"James listen to me when I tell you this. Sirius doesn't feel that way about me, nor do I him . There are other girls prettier than I to occupy his time." I said hotly looking away from my friend. I hear my friend sigh.

"And how would you know that by chance?" I look over at James, trying to understand what he means.

"What are you talking about James?" I ask him.

"All I'm saying Briar is that you shouldn't be too quick to assume anything about him. Not everything is as it seems." I nod, looking away and prepare myself to run to the pillar. I take a deep breath, and run towards the solid looking brick wall. Even after doing this on multiple occasions already, I still wait for the impact as I run through the wall. After no impact, I open my eyes to find the Hogwarts Express. I wait for James to run through the wall, and then together we make our way over to the side door, and we load the train together. James helps me with my trunk and owl, and then we make our way to find an empty compartment. We head towards the back of the train, hoping that one of our other friends has already found a compartment to sit in. In the last compartment of the back of the train, we find Remus and Sirius already opens the compartment door to find our friends in a deep conversation. They look up at the open door. Sirius brightens up considerably when he sees me walk through the door. I look away and walk over to Remus. Sirius and I have been having some problems lately, especially once he got his multiple girlfriends and in year four. Not that I was jealous or anything, because I wasn't. At least, that's what I tell everyone else.

Remus looks especially tired today. I know better than to ask why Remus is so tired, it seems to be a touchy subject with the boys. One of these days I'll figure it out but until then I'll keep it to myself. I take a seat next to Remus and try to avoid eye contact Sirius.

"Hello Briar." Sirius says, crossing his arms and leaning back against his seat. I force myself to look at him, smiling politely.

"Hello Sirius, how was your summer?" I say quietly. We've never had a good relationship to begin with, but after Allie, his Ravenclaw girlfriend, everything seemed different between us. That's probably my fault, I don't know why but I can't seem to look at him after that.

"It was great Briar, not that you seem to care."Sirius says, turning to look out the window, ignoring the rest of us in the compartment. James has his eyes trained on me. I meet his eyes and he's smirking in the corner.

Remus looks between Sirius and I wondering what he's missed this time. I can never tell them what's been going on, they'd only laugh. That's why they don't associate with girls very often, unless they're flirting of course.

"Am I missing something here?" Remus asks, still looking between Sirius and I shake my head no, turning to the book that I'd brought with me, The Great a while, Sirius turns to look at me from the corner of his eye.

"You're reading The Great Gatsby? Have you read it before? If you haven't already, you'll love it." Sirius tells me. I look up from my book, stunned. The great Sirius Black reads? And a muggle one at that? I can't be quite sure that he's lying to me just to make conversation. I turn to face him, and ask,

"Favorite character?" I wait from him for his response before he replies,

"Dan Cody, of course." He sees the shock in my eyes, and smirks.

"You thought I didn't read, did you?"

"Well, I'm, I, I just thought since you're a, I mean a.." I stutter, trying to find the right words to say without sounding horrible. I see James motion to Remus and Peter to leave the room silently. As they leave Sirius looks to me, fire blazing in his dark eyes.

"What? because I'm a slacker, a pure blood from a Slytherin family so I must be like the rest of them. Come on, say it, I know you want to. Everyone does." I can't bring myself to look away from him until he's finished. Once he's done, I look down, eyes trained to the floor.

"Come on then, spit it out!" He yells.

"Okay, fine! Death Eater!" I yell at him. We stare each other and for quite a while. His eyes blaze with hurt and anger.

"Sirius, I, I didn't mean..." I start, but he puts a hand to stop me.

"Yes you did Briar, I know you did. Now at least I know why you hate me so much."

Sirius puts his hand down in defeat and stands. He heads for the door. He turns back to look at me, eyes red. "But just so you know, I'm not a Death Eater. All of my family might be but I'm sure as hell not. Thanks for the confidence in me." I can't, won't , let him believe that I hate him.

This is all my fault. I wish I could feel less awkward around him, but without the girls trailing around him so much, I don't know what to say to him anymore.

I stand up and reach over and take his hand in mine. I feel him jump slightly, but I drag him back to his seat and he look out the window.

"Sirius, look at me."

I wait for him to do so, but when he doesn't, I take my other hand to gently place it on his cheek, turning his head slightly to face me.

His head might be facing me, but his eyes face the floor.

"I don't hate you." I say quietly. His eyes dart up and look at mine.

"Of course you do. You treat differently from everyone else. You always avoid me, never want to spend time with me and if I'm around the rest the boys you'll pretend that I don't exist." I can't say that he's wrong. I've never made him feel like a friend. It's not that I haven't tried of course, but there always seems to be girl or two hanging off his arm. That started around our second year at Hogwarts. We were never really friends in first year. I was still trying to make sense of everything around me that I didn't have time to befriend the popular group or the rest of common room for that matter. Of course the only reason we became friends at all is because James is infatuated with my roommate Lily Evans.

James began following me around after classes, during classes, during break, during eating hours, trying to figure out things about Lily to make her like him. He thought I was his best option. He still does.

"Well if you didn't have a girl hanging off of your arm every day, I might actually be able to get close enough to you to be friends with you. Seeing as the rest of the boys don't have that it was easier to befriend them." I say trying not to let him get the best of me. That was a low blow. I know he doesn't like it that he has a fan club following him around every day.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Sirius places his remaining hand on mine, trapping it against his cheek.

"Then what did you mean Briar?" He asks me, capturing my gaze. I don't know what to say at this point. He leans in slowly, as if to give me plenty of time to back away.. I found myself unconsciously leaning towards him, eyes never leaving one another. We are centimeters apart when… "SIRIUS!?"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6:

I jump back from Sirius, yanking my hand from his grasp. I look to the door to see Brianne Christian, a blonde, ditzy Hufflepuff at the door, anger written all over her features.

"What the hell is going on here?" She yells, close to hysteria. She stomps off without giving me a glance. I turn to look at Sirius, and I could feel anger radiating off me. I stand and walk towards the door, trying not to cry.

"Briar! I can explain!" He calls after me. The train has stopped and I grab my luggage as I run from the compartment. I run past James, who tries to stop me but I shrug him off. I push my way through the crowd, trying to stop the tears that threaten to fall. I pass Hagrid, who sees my face and stops me.

"You alright there Briar?"He asks me, concern written all over his face. I try to smile, but I let a tear slip instead.

"I'm fine Hagrid, honest. I'll visit you this week okay?" I say, leaving him before any more tears fall. Unfortunately for me, the time I'd taken to stop and talk to Hagrid had given Remus enough time to catch up with me. I run into a carriage and as it's about to pull away and Remus jumps on gracefully. It was almost empty as we leave toward the gate. Remus slides over to sit next to me. He put his arm around me. I laid my head on his shoulder, forcing myself to blink back the tears. Remus doesn't ask me what's knows that I just need someone at the moment. I'm glad I have a friend like him. As the castle comes into view, I look up at Remus.

"You wanna talk?" He asks me quietly. I laugh humorlessly.

"It wouldn't interest you in the slightest. Believe me." I say shakily.

"It's Sirius isn't it?" He asks, annoyance evident.

"Wow, you're smart." I say sarcastically.

"What did that jackass do now? I swear if he hurt you..." Remus says, starting to rant. I laugh.

"It's okay Remus, if anyones going to hurt him, it'll be me. I just let him in for a moment and I should've known better.. So now I know I can't trust him. These things are good to know." I say, feeling sadness take over inside me. Remus hugged me.

"I don't know what that git did and I don't think my opinion will matter that much, but I think you should give him a chance. He really does like you. "Remus says, helping me off the carriage.

"Your opinion does matter to me Remus but I don't know if I can."I sigh, walking towards the castle. The sky is bright with stars. Hogwarts is a truly beautiful place.

"I'll see you later okay?" I say, walking towards the lake.

"Wait, you have to come in for dinner." Remus says, always a stickler for the rules.

" I just need some time to think. I'll be in soon I promise. Thanks Remus."I say, kissing him on the cheek. He blushes slightly as I walk away from him and towards the trees by the lake.

"Lumos." I whisper, and light floods from the end of my wand. I go and sit under one of the large willow trees by the lake, watching the first years float notices me and waves. I wave back as they go into the castle. Now that I'm finally alone I feel the tears pour over and I'm unable to stop them. I feel so ridiculous for crying over something so stupid but I can't help it. I have really started to fancy Sirius and he hurt me. I don't know how long I'd been sitting out by the water, wind whipping my hair into my eyes. I feel the hair on my neck start to stand on end. I sit up, trying to listen through the wind's howling. I can feel something come up behind me and I tighten the grip on my wand. I take a breath and spin around, pointing my wand at the shadow saying,

"Homenum Revelio." The figure yelps and floats towards me.

"Stupefy." I whisper and the figure, not waiting to see who it is. The figure drops like a ton of bricks onto the grass in front of me. I look down at Sirius, motionless on the ground. I roll my eyes at him, sighing in relief that it's only him.

"You're an idiot you know that right? Why the hell would you sneak up on me like that huh? Where do you think we are Sirius? This isn't any old muggle school! Get your head out of your ass!" I yell, glad that he couldn't speak and can only take my anger in silence. I kneel down beside his head. His eyes staring upward. The wind whips through the trees, my hair covering my eyes.

"You know Sirius, there are times when I wish we could be friends, and then you pull crap like this and I just want to throw you into the lake in December."I say, letting one tear fall.I wipe it away quickly, hoping he didn't see. I stand up and turn to walk away.

"Briar." I turn confused that he got out of my spell so quickly.

"What do you want?" I ask him, blinking profusely. I can see the guilt in his eyes and he steps towards me.

"Please, you have to understand that we aren't together. She's just a girl that likes me a lot." He explained. I looked at him for a moment. He took a step closer, looking down at me.

"Do you honestly think I'd want to hurt you like that? Contrary to popular belief, I have only the highest respect for you Briar. I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally. Though I can't say much about the unintentional stuff because we both know I'm prone to screwing up." He jokes, waiting for me to smile. I do, much to my surprise. He takes my hand in his and looks down at me through his eyelashes. He really had this persuasion thing down.

"So, will you please just give me a chance?" He begs. My heart starts pounding in my chest. I blush slightly, feeling relieved that it's dark out. I smile at him.I back up slowly, only letting go of his hand only when I'm too far away to hold on.

"We'll see." I say that I turn around and walk back toward the castle, feeling hopeful as I leave Sirius dumbfounded behind me.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7:

I walk silently into the castle, hoping that Filch doesn't catch me. I hear Mrs. Norris mewing from around the corner, so I run behind a suit of armor and hope she doesn't see me. She doesn't. I breathe a sigh of relief once she's around the corner and out of sight. I creep along the hall, staying close to the walls. I make it up to the Gryffindor common room only to realize that I don't know the password. I am now a sitting duck out here waiting for Filch and Mrs. Norris to make their rounds again. I walk past the Fat Lady, ignoring her protests of my absence at the feast. I walk towards another suit of armor and slide behind it. No way am I sitting out to wait for them. I'll just have to wait until a prefect opens door and then I can climb through behind them. I sit for a couple of minutes before I see Sirius climb the stairs with a dumb smile on his face. I almost laugh.

"Psst! Sirius!" I whisper. He looks around, trying to find the source of the noise.

"Over here!" I whisper again. He walks over in front of the armor, looks around it to find me squished in the corner. He grins at me.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here." We both turn at the sound of footsteps from around the corner. I grab him and pull into the already small space.

"If you want to be this close Briar all you have to do is ask." Sirius smirks. I roll my eyes at him and cover his mouth with my hand. Filch stumbles by with Mrs. Norris not far behind. I hold my breath, not just because of the caretaker, but because the only place for my forehead to go it to lay it on his chest. Long after they turned the corner, Sirius and I stay rooted to our spot. His arms wrap around me, my head still on his chest. His heart's beating a mile a minute, and I could feel mine doing the same. We hear the rest of our house coming up the stairs but we couldn't move now. Imagine what would happen if Sirius Black and I were to walk out from behind a statue after missing dinner. Thinking of dinner, my stomach growls unattractively. We both resist the urge to laugh at this. He leans his head down and whispers in my ear as the first years stumble by.

"We need to get food after this."

"But how? We'll just have to suffer until morning." I say, not knowing how I'm supposed to survive until morning without eating all day. He smiles at me.

"A little faith please."

The new password is now Triumph apparently. Keeping that in mind after the Gryffindors trudge through the door, Sirius and I get out from behind the armor and he drags me quietly through the halls to the third floor.

He walks up to a wall with picture of a bowl of fruit. He tickles the green pear in the painting and a door appears on the wall. He turns to look at my astonished face and just laughs quietly. We walk through the door and I find myself standing in the Hogwarts kitchens. I stare in shock as the kitchen is bustling about with house elves.

"Well, are we going to stand here all night? I don't know about you but I'm starving." Sirius grins. I couldn't stop looking around the large kitchen. How could something so big be kept a secret. Sirius stick his hand out, wiggling his fingers. I look at him. He rolls his eyes.

"Come on Mitchell, take my hand." Sirius requests. I contemplate it, but something inside me really just wants to hold his hand. So, taking his hand gingerly, a grinning Sirius drags me over to a couple of chairs by a large brown fireplace. Two houselves run over and bring us what the other students had for dinner. We eat in silence. It seems as though every time I look away from Sirius, I can feel his gaze on me. When we're finished eating we sit, staring at the long flames. I know he's looking at me, but I can't bring myself to look back.

"Briar, do you... what I mean to say is.. will you ever trust me enough to give us a chance?" Sirius whispers, looking very flustered. It seems that Sirius didn't have to beg for forgiveness very often. I didn't answer him, because for once I didn't know. I want to trust him more than anything, but I can't be sure with him. I could see him from the corner of my eye, swallowing hard. I continue with my silence, but I grab his hand hanging off his armrest. I could see him look up quickly. I didn't have to look to know that a smirk has formed on his features.

"Shut up." That's all I say.

We sit there for a while, enjoying each other's company.


End file.
